Saturday, July 26, 2008

Alive Again in Heaven

Two thirds of my family is off in Knoxville this weekend visiting with Harper one last time before she flies back to Las Vegas. The rest of us are hanging around home and enjoying some togetherness. Last night after Quinn went to bed, Dana and I watched a movie ("Dan in Real Life" - I give it a 6 out of 10, and that's only because I like Steve Carell) and this afternoon she and I went to see "Mamma Mia!" with Misty. What a hoot! I LOVED that movie and although I like musicals as a rule, I'm not *that* easy to please. Now I want to be IN it myself, but I can't decide which part I like best. Meryl Streep's part? Nah, she's the lead and while I like to be noticed I don't want to be that responsible. Maybe her friend Rosie is more my style, since I'm too old now to be the daughter.

As the youngest child, Quinn is often competing for my attention with her sisters and it's been interesting to watch her this weekend dealing with Karis being gone. I think Quinn misses her sister but at the same time, Mommy doesn't have to take care of anybody but her. Hey, she thinks, this may not be so bad! This evening we rode scooters around the block (yes, you read that right: I rode a scooter) and Quinn talked nonstop the whole way. She is quite a funny girl! She had the whole floor to herself and was making good use of it. She seems to have matured so much in the past 3 months, it's amazing. I didn't have to say much myself because she apparently had a lot of things she wanted to say. One particularly sweet conversation (or more accurately, monologue) had to do with my telling her to be careful and not go too fast down the hill. I'm going to try to quote this pretty much verbatim and with very little punctuation because that's the way the child talks. Alan Smith and Marsha Howell, this is for you:

Quinn: Yeah I don't want to go too fast on my scooter cause then I might fall and crack my head open and that would hurt and then I'd die unless the doctor sewed me back up but you don't have to be sad if I die because I'll come alive again in heaven and then you'll see me there and we'll be happy. So don't be sad if I die.

Me: Oh, if you die you'll come alive again in heaven?

Quinn: Yeah, and if you die I won't be sad because I know you'll be alive in heaven and when I die and go to heaven too I'll come back alive again in heaven and we'll all be happy. So you don't have to cry or anything.

Me: If you died I would be very sad because I would miss you but it would make me feel better to know that you're alive again in heaven with Jesus. And then I'd know that when I die and go to heaven I'll see you again.

Quinn: Yeah, and we'll play games and ride scooters and stuff ....

I thank God for all the wonderful teachers He has placed in my children's lives over the years. Jon and I teach them at home as well but you know how well kids listen to their parents sometimes. Alan and Marsha (and others): Quinn is listening and absorbing your message. It's getting through. So if you ever get discouraged and think your ministry isn't effective, don't be fooled. The kids are listening.

On a whole other subject, lately I've been feeling drawn to study worship. Singing on the Praise Team has made me think about what worship is and what it looks like. Karis and Quinn took classes in worship dance this summer from a neighbor of mine and she said some things that really pushed me along in that direction. The flag routine that Susan did at our This Night celebration moved me and stirred something in me as well. So I did what I usually do: I got on Amazon.com and started browsing through books on worship, and I ran some Google searches. I came up with some interesting articles and I ordered a couple of books. Right now I'm reading one by David Jeremiah and not that he needs my endorsement, but he's really onto something.

It will come as no surprise to most people that "worship" does not necessarily mean the songs that we sing on Sunday morning. At least it didn't to me. I had heard whisperings and hints that there was more, much more, to worship. Worship is our response to who God is and what He's done. That kind of throws it wide open, doesn't it? So many things can be considered worship, if they're done with the right heart attitude. David Jeremiah's book is about living life in an attitude of childlike wonder and awe. Sure, we've all had our breath taken away by some beautiful sights in nature or the birth of a child. But how many of us see the wonders around us every day, or take the time to reflect on the things God has done for us? Usually we (meaning me) are too busy with our daily details to look around us and see. More to come on this later.

Praise Team auditions for the next year are on August 17. The word "audition" makes me nauseous, and I'm trying to decide on a song to use. I also need to write out my personal salvation story (not a problem) and (here's the biggie) why I feel God is calling me to serve on the Praise Team. Yikes! I've been praying about that one and will continue praying about it, for sure. There is just no easy answer to that question, no simple "yes" or "no". How do I put into words what I feel? I just know when I'm sitting in front of Larry my mind will go blank. But that is fear, and I cannot let fear rule my life, right? Oh boy.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Just Rambling

Karis and Harper are trying to wring every possible bit of fun out of the last few hours of their weekend. It's been so fun to watch them reconnect! Saturday night I was tucking them into their sleeping bags on Karis' floor and when I leaned in to kiss Karis goodnight she wrapped her arms around my neck, smiled sweetly and said, "This has been my best day, hasn't it?" I said, "Yes honey, I guess it has." Last night after we put them in their sleeping bags, Harper came back downstairs with tears in her eyes. She was said because she realized that the next day, she was leaving. We soothed her and her Daddy held her on his lap for a while, then the two Daddies started putting their heads together about a way that the girls could see each other again before Harper goes back to Vegas. I think it's going to work out. And then she'll be back East in December to see her Daddy again so maybe we can have another visit.

Childhood friends are so important, I think. I'm sad that I'm not in touch with anyone I played with as a child or even any of my high school friends. My best friend growing up was Vicki, who was an only child just like me who lived in my neighborhood. Our houses were on streets that ran parallel to each other and they backed up to a grassy "alley" that was like a common area. Our Dads would take turns mowing the alley so Vicki and I could walk to each other's homes without fear of bugs or snakes. Vicki and I met when I was 7 and she was 6, and one of the first things she told me was that she's adopted. Our parents were friends off and on throughout our childhood and our Dads were in a gospel singing group together for years so we traveled to different churches and with no siblings around, we were each other's entertainment. Her parents were much more indulgent with her than mine were with me and she actually had a car, so we drove all over town. There was also Robin, who lived down the street from me and was also an only child (there seems to be a theme here). Of course it was impossible for the three of us to all be friends at once - it never works with odd numbers of girls, you know - so one or the other of us was always feeling left out. Then there was my step-cousin Dede who lived with her grandmother (my step-grandmother) right next to our house. Would you believe she was also an only child? We played together a lot and treated each other like siblings - took each other for granted, mostly. We shared a love for reading, board games and certain television shows. I used to spend the night with my friends several times a week during the summers. We'd go to the public swimming pool and stay for hours, or to the skating rink where we'd mainly flirt with the boys instead of skating.

By the time I was in high school, the four of us had drifted off into different groups of friends and I had a new best friend, Alice, who was from South Carolina. I think Alice deserves a post of her very own, so I'll write about her later. You know how there are different "groups" in high school - jocks/cheerleaders, smart kids, band geeks, potheads, etc. I actually straddled the line between two groups: the smart kids (yeah, hard to believe) and the drama club. There were several of us who wandered between the two. Were we Smart Kids who liked to sing and act? Or were we Singers/Actors who were also smart (or at least had the reputation of being smart)? For me it was the latter. I certainly wasn't a jock and I was never popular. I was actually quite shy in high school and while I wanted to be noticed, I didn't want to be noticed in a "bad" way so I kept my head down. I sang in the choir, acted in plays, did just enough homework to get by, and raised my hand in class to answer questions. Teachers loved me! My fellow students, not so much. I ran into my high school French teacher last year at Thanksgiving and she still remembered me! Go figure.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Friends and gods (not interchangeable)



In the past 24 hours I have had the pleasure of witnessing my child's pure bliss (although I'm not sure that word is strong enough) in having her best friend beside her. I call Harper her best friend even though maybe a better term is "oldest" friend. The girls have known each other since the age of two. Until our family moved in June 2006, they were together at least once or twice a week, not counting church services. Our families vacationed together, we ate together and played together. After the Adams moved to SC we visited and stayed over at each other's homes, which if you've never done it, definitely gives you a new level of intimacy! Anyway, Harper is the kind of friend who has known Karis so long that Karis' quirks don't phase her, and Karis is glowing in the presence of a friend who knows her well and would choose KARIS above all other friends. I can see the confidence and peace in Karis' face and it moves me to tears. For a child who sometimes struggles with social situations and kids her own age, being with Harper is like a breath of fresh air to Karis. She doesn't have to try so hard because Harper knows her well and loves her anyway. When we answered the door yesterday afternoon, the two girls hugged and immediately ran off to play like they had never been apart for nearly a year.

I want to be that way with my friends. When I am with them, I want that joy to show in my face. Who doesn't want to know that their presence is valued and appreciated? When I call a friend on the phone, I want that friend to feel the unabashed joy I have in our friendship. Am I asking too much of myself and other people? Maybe. I'm not always in a good mood but I'm ALWAYS happy to be with my friends, the ones who know me well and love me anyway, and I'm sure it's not easy all the time. The Bible tells us we are to "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13) It's not that hard to hurt my feelings but I do my best (with God's help) to forgive. I hope my friends feel the same, and I think they do.

Speaking of hurting my feelings, that may not be so easy to do once we get through with this No Other Gods study. Behold, the old man is gone and the new man has come! I don't have to be a slave to what others think of me or say to/about me. Of course, that's easier said than done. I love that whole section of Colossians (verses 1-17) that we read for the last day of this week's study. In fact, I may print that out and put it on my bathroom mirror so I can be reminded of it everyday. The section that we are discussing on Sunday has been very hard for me and yet very freeing. When we first started the study and were introduced to the idea of "functional gods" I had a feeling that there was one lurking in my life that was a person and sure enough, I had that feeling confirmed for me in this week's study. Yikes! It's not fair to people to set them up as gods and give them so much power over you, plus most times they don't even know they have that power AND they definitely don't usually ask for that much control. I wouldn't want to be someone's functional god. I'm human and therefore doomed to fail, and then what? Just something to think about.

So now we are thinking about ways to get our family out to Las Vegas, someway, somehow, in the next few months so another year doesn't go by without Karis and Harper seeing each other. I took this picture of them yesterday. I think their facial expressions say it all.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I Love You People!

Sometimes I am just overwhelmed with emotion for the way that God has so perfectly orchestrated my life to be right where I am right now. He knew long before I was born that I would be here in South Carolina at this phase of my life and that I would be a part of a growing and dynamic body of believers called LifeSong Church. Jon and I came to LifeSong in a very unique way that was quite obviously God's hand. Lots of times in our lives we can look back later and see how God was directing us but this time we could see it unfolding right before our eyes. Some Sunday mornings I want to stand up in front of the church and just shout, "I love you people!" And I do, some easily and some with God's help. :-)

I love Misty and Bobby and their heart for teaching our children to love Jesus. Misty has been my friend since the first day we walked into LifeSong and her sweet spirit inspires me to try and find my inner sweetness, since my first instinct is definitely more tart than sweet. And I love Lisa Fleming, who intimidated me on our first meeting without meaning to, but who has since become a dear friend based on so much more than that first thing we had in common. I love Marsha, who is such a straight shooter than you can always trust her to tell you the truth. I love Amy Hickman who works so tirelessly with the Aroma team to minister to the women at LifeSong, and I know it's not easy when you have a household that includes four children, a husband and two dogs! I love Misty's mom Vickie, which is easy because we are very alike, and Vickie's sister Janet, who is so quiet and NOT like me, and I especially love how they stick together the way sisters should. It gives me hope for my daughters one day and I sure do need it, based on the way they fight tooth and nail. I love Connie, who despite the world's attempts to crush her spirit, just keeps clinging to God with everything she's got. I love Miss Eulala, who always has a smile and an encouraging word for me, and I want to be like her one day. I love my Jenness who cheerfully takes care of my children when they have to come with me for some grown-up thing. I love Amanda, who seems so quiet but is really very funny and she gets my pop culture references. I've written before about my sweet friend Amy D. And of course I love my choir sisters. I could go on and on. And that's just some of the women at LifeSong! I haven't even started on the men. I could go on and on....

One thing I've observed about LifeSong is that it's not the kind of church where you can come in, sit on the back row and leave unscathed. You either love it or can't stand it. We are very intense. Jon and I loved it from day 1 and knew we were at home, and most of the people we've talked to who have joined the church after us felt the same way. It didn't take more than one visit to know if it was the place they wanted to be. We've seen others come for one service and never come back. I can understand that, because not everyone is at the same level of spiritual maturity. There was a time in Jon's life that LifeSong would have scared him to death! I've been in all kinds of churches in my lifetime and there's not much out there that would surprise me at this point. This is where God has put us and it is so exciting to watch the church morph and grow, and I think this is just the beginning. God has big plans for LifeSong Church. I can feel it every time I step into the building. I want to be a part of those plans however God chooses to use me.