I just love the song by Stellar Kart called "Me and Jesus", because it talks about community and friendship as I think maybe God intended it to be. "Someone loves you, even when you don't think so; don't you know you've got me and Jesus?" What a blessing to know that you have friends around who will not judge you, who will instead love you with the love of Christ! Judging is easy; loving people in spite of who they are is hard, but if it was easy we wouldn't need God's help to do it, I guess.
I don't know why I'm getting all soppy and sentimental today. I just want my friends to know that no matter what goes on in their lives, they'll always have me and Jesus. Yes, I do reserve the right to tell you when I think you're heading in the wrong direction. I will try to be open-minded when you tell ME that I'm heading the wrong way. None of us is any better than anyone else - we are all sinners. It says so right there in Romans. Likewise we are all children of God. Christ died for ALL of us, the murderer and the saint. We are all equal under the cross.
I'm really burdened today for the Mortality Room - Choices? production at LifeSong. Anytime you try to do something good for the Lord the enemy is going to try to mess it up so maybe we should consider it a good sign that he's working really hard to try to sabotage this thing. Spiritual warfare is going on all over the place and we all need to be praying against it. That sounds like theological-speak but what I take it to mean is that we need to just pray. Pray for the cast, for the church, for the people who will come to see it, for Larry (has he slept in the past week?), for the lighting and tech crew, for anyone remotely connected to the production, and pray for their protection. God isn't sitting there waiting for you to get all the words right - He just wants to hear your heart.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
More Music
I can never get enough music! Unless it's rap or hip-hop, that is. I like (or at least tolerate) most other styles of music quite well. I put on my Playlist to the left a selection of songs that represent different parts and stages of my life. Today I'm going to talk about The Old Ship of Zion.
My stepfather came into my life when I was six years old. He was a mystery to me when he married my mother because I had only met him a couple of times. He wasn't new to fatherhood because he had a daughter three years older than me and that may have made the transition a little easier for both of us. I loved to pull out the "You're not my real father so you can't tell me what to do" card but it never seemed to work. Kenny loved country, oldies and country gospel music. Over the years he formed several gospel quartets that would travel and sing at different churches around the area. At one point we even had our own bus! He bought an old school bus and painted it red, white and blue, and we were set to go. The group would practice in an old building behind our house that we called "The Shop" because it used to be his father's workshop. I remember that the four singers' microphones had the foam covers on the top and each one had their own color. Hmmmm... Sound like anyone you know? The Old Ship of Zion was a song that they used to sing, and I could name dozens more of them - most of which I could still sing for you if you asked me to. :-) We visited all kinds of churches, from the quiet, staid traditional Baptist churches with nice padded pews to loud and rowdy Churches of God with mismatched folding chairs. Or the even more rowdy Assemblies of God. OK, I probably shouldn't stereotype denominations that way. Not all those Baptist churches were quiet. Some churches we played several times and the pastors came to be friends of the family. We got invited to church homecomings and I learned to love those "singings" and the feast we were invited to share. I could always count on some macaroni and cheese, deviled eggs, fried chicken and banana pudding at a homecoming "dinner on the ground." I remember the first time I got hold of some banana pudding that some misinformed soul had put pineapple in - yuck! Or the deviled eggs that had pickle relish added. I was an extremely picky eater as a kid, although you wouldn't have believed it if you had seen me then.
Although I didn't make my own decision to follow Christ until my late teens, the music of those years touched my childish soul. There were certain songs that would make me cry every single time, whether because of the words or the melody or the harmony, or some combination of all three. So many of those songs are engraved on my heart that even now I can hear just a snippet of a melody and recognize it as an old "quartet" song.
My partner in crime was my friend Vicky, whose dad sang baritone while my stepdad sang lead. We were only a year apart in age so we kept each other company during practices and trips around East Tennessee. Occasionally one of the other singers or musicians that joined the group would have a son who was "crushworthy" and we would practice our flirting at every available opportunity. Sadly, I was too shy to do much flirting and they always ended up liking Vicky and not me. That is a subject for another post though.
One of the singers that came and went and came back was named Ronnie, and he sang tenor. When I say tenor, I don't mean a high male voice - I mean a pure, clear falsetto. He was amazing! He hit notes that I can't even hit today. And then there was Bob, who sang bass. Bob looked like he would run away if someone said "Boo!" to him, which wasn't far from the truth. And I thought I was shy. He did, however, have a very cute son near my age that gave me plenty of material for my diary. There I was, fourteen years old and desperate for someone to notice me and Dale just couldn't seem to get the hint. Come to think of it, I probably wasn't hinting strongly enough to get noticed. He did once comment on how pretty I was but it never went past that.
In addition to singing gospel music, my stepdad was a huge fan so we also traveled to hear other groups sing: The Florida Boys, The Inspirations, The Kingsmen, The Happy Goodman Family, The New Gospel Ways - many of those guys actually ended up as family friends. I know that my parents used to go visit Archie Watkins of The Inspirations at his home. In his later years, my stepdad fulfilled a lifelong dream of his and got his own radio program. It was a small AM station in Knoxville and he had to purchase his own airtime, but over the years he developed quite a following. He would go on the air every Sunday evening and play the music that he loved, and people would call in or write in and request certain songs. The station was near where Jon and I lived so I would go in and visit my parents there (because my mother was there to write down what songs they played in what order and just generally help out), and my stepdad was always tickled to see me and would mention on the air that his daughter was there to visit. After his sudden death in 2003 the station held a tribute broadcast in his honor and I have a recording of it, although I haven't had the heart to listen to it yet. I also have a recording of his last broadcast and I haven't listened to that either. I love thinking that Kenny is now enjoying the wonders of the Heaven that he sang about for so many years, and that after singing God's praises here on Earth he can now praise Him face to face.
My stepfather came into my life when I was six years old. He was a mystery to me when he married my mother because I had only met him a couple of times. He wasn't new to fatherhood because he had a daughter three years older than me and that may have made the transition a little easier for both of us. I loved to pull out the "You're not my real father so you can't tell me what to do" card but it never seemed to work. Kenny loved country, oldies and country gospel music. Over the years he formed several gospel quartets that would travel and sing at different churches around the area. At one point we even had our own bus! He bought an old school bus and painted it red, white and blue, and we were set to go. The group would practice in an old building behind our house that we called "The Shop" because it used to be his father's workshop. I remember that the four singers' microphones had the foam covers on the top and each one had their own color. Hmmmm... Sound like anyone you know? The Old Ship of Zion was a song that they used to sing, and I could name dozens more of them - most of which I could still sing for you if you asked me to. :-) We visited all kinds of churches, from the quiet, staid traditional Baptist churches with nice padded pews to loud and rowdy Churches of God with mismatched folding chairs. Or the even more rowdy Assemblies of God. OK, I probably shouldn't stereotype denominations that way. Not all those Baptist churches were quiet. Some churches we played several times and the pastors came to be friends of the family. We got invited to church homecomings and I learned to love those "singings" and the feast we were invited to share. I could always count on some macaroni and cheese, deviled eggs, fried chicken and banana pudding at a homecoming "dinner on the ground." I remember the first time I got hold of some banana pudding that some misinformed soul had put pineapple in - yuck! Or the deviled eggs that had pickle relish added. I was an extremely picky eater as a kid, although you wouldn't have believed it if you had seen me then.
Although I didn't make my own decision to follow Christ until my late teens, the music of those years touched my childish soul. There were certain songs that would make me cry every single time, whether because of the words or the melody or the harmony, or some combination of all three. So many of those songs are engraved on my heart that even now I can hear just a snippet of a melody and recognize it as an old "quartet" song.
My partner in crime was my friend Vicky, whose dad sang baritone while my stepdad sang lead. We were only a year apart in age so we kept each other company during practices and trips around East Tennessee. Occasionally one of the other singers or musicians that joined the group would have a son who was "crushworthy" and we would practice our flirting at every available opportunity. Sadly, I was too shy to do much flirting and they always ended up liking Vicky and not me. That is a subject for another post though.
One of the singers that came and went and came back was named Ronnie, and he sang tenor. When I say tenor, I don't mean a high male voice - I mean a pure, clear falsetto. He was amazing! He hit notes that I can't even hit today. And then there was Bob, who sang bass. Bob looked like he would run away if someone said "Boo!" to him, which wasn't far from the truth. And I thought I was shy. He did, however, have a very cute son near my age that gave me plenty of material for my diary. There I was, fourteen years old and desperate for someone to notice me and Dale just couldn't seem to get the hint. Come to think of it, I probably wasn't hinting strongly enough to get noticed. He did once comment on how pretty I was but it never went past that.
In addition to singing gospel music, my stepdad was a huge fan so we also traveled to hear other groups sing: The Florida Boys, The Inspirations, The Kingsmen, The Happy Goodman Family, The New Gospel Ways - many of those guys actually ended up as family friends. I know that my parents used to go visit Archie Watkins of The Inspirations at his home. In his later years, my stepdad fulfilled a lifelong dream of his and got his own radio program. It was a small AM station in Knoxville and he had to purchase his own airtime, but over the years he developed quite a following. He would go on the air every Sunday evening and play the music that he loved, and people would call in or write in and request certain songs. The station was near where Jon and I lived so I would go in and visit my parents there (because my mother was there to write down what songs they played in what order and just generally help out), and my stepdad was always tickled to see me and would mention on the air that his daughter was there to visit. After his sudden death in 2003 the station held a tribute broadcast in his honor and I have a recording of it, although I haven't had the heart to listen to it yet. I also have a recording of his last broadcast and I haven't listened to that either. I love thinking that Kenny is now enjoying the wonders of the Heaven that he sang about for so many years, and that after singing God's praises here on Earth he can now praise Him face to face.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Where Was I?
So where was I? Oh, yes - One Month to Live. I've been able to make some relatively small changes since starting the book and I find myself weighing my choices a little more carefully. I'm spending more time talking and playing with my kids and less time on the computer or watching TV. Sadly, the amount of time I spend on housework is unaffected, for better or for worse. One day's reading was about how our lives are similar to a roller coaster with all its ups and downs and unpredictability, yet we enjoy the adrenaline rush it gives us. The assignment was to figure out my own metaphor for life, something that suited me personally. I chose a surfer. Although I may get knocked down by the waves, I float back to the surface, and instead of being ruled by the waves I tap into their power and use it to propel myself forward. I thought it was quite fitting.
The new worship team (everyone who tried out except for one) is singing a song tomorrow morning and I can't wait! We actually had a rehearsal on Monday night. I'm not used to actually having a worship team rehearsal other than Sunday morning before the service. Larry gave us name labels to put on our microphones. Odd how such a small piece of plastic can give me such satisfaction but it does. Amy asked him if we could bring in our own colored tape but he said no. :-) There is but one decorated mike, and it belongs to Larry. Anyway, the song we're singing is so powerful I bet it will take the roof right off LifeSong Church. I know I felt the Spirit when we were rehearsing and if the PT can feel it and show it, it's going to be an amazing service.
I'm going to blog about something I did last week, and I've only told one other person (not Jon), so if someone else knows it's going to be because they've read this blog. I was at Hardee's on 29 one morning last week. It might have been Wednesday - whatever day it was raining so hard. I had my breakfast, read my OMTL and journaled, then headed out for WalMart to get an oil change. I had to sit and wait for traffic to get clear so I could turn left and it seemed to take forever. Finally I had an opening and I turned left...... directly into a left turn lane GOING THE OTHER WAY! There was a median between me and the lane I was aiming for. I'm sitting here in my van in the pouring raing thinking, I'm on the wrong side of the highway...I hope nobody comes up over that hill wanting to turn left....I'm gonna die! Honestly, it really brought the whole OMTL thing home to me and a new, fresh, and quite jarring way. Of course it all turned out OK. I noticed the median was sloping and not squared off, so I checked to see if anyone was coming (nope) and just drove over it into the correct side of the road. I felt so stupid! How could I not see there was a median? But God took care of me in my stupidity and showed me the way out. Talk about your adrenaline rush! Who needs a roller coaster? I'm sure there are all sorts of metaphors hidden in that little incident but right now the laundry is calling....
The new worship team (everyone who tried out except for one) is singing a song tomorrow morning and I can't wait! We actually had a rehearsal on Monday night. I'm not used to actually having a worship team rehearsal other than Sunday morning before the service. Larry gave us name labels to put on our microphones. Odd how such a small piece of plastic can give me such satisfaction but it does. Amy asked him if we could bring in our own colored tape but he said no. :-) There is but one decorated mike, and it belongs to Larry. Anyway, the song we're singing is so powerful I bet it will take the roof right off LifeSong Church. I know I felt the Spirit when we were rehearsing and if the PT can feel it and show it, it's going to be an amazing service.
I'm going to blog about something I did last week, and I've only told one other person (not Jon), so if someone else knows it's going to be because they've read this blog. I was at Hardee's on 29 one morning last week. It might have been Wednesday - whatever day it was raining so hard. I had my breakfast, read my OMTL and journaled, then headed out for WalMart to get an oil change. I had to sit and wait for traffic to get clear so I could turn left and it seemed to take forever. Finally I had an opening and I turned left...... directly into a left turn lane GOING THE OTHER WAY! There was a median between me and the lane I was aiming for. I'm sitting here in my van in the pouring raing thinking, I'm on the wrong side of the highway...I hope nobody comes up over that hill wanting to turn left....I'm gonna die! Honestly, it really brought the whole OMTL thing home to me and a new, fresh, and quite jarring way. Of course it all turned out OK. I noticed the median was sloping and not squared off, so I checked to see if anyone was coming (nope) and just drove over it into the correct side of the road. I felt so stupid! How could I not see there was a median? But God took care of me in my stupidity and showed me the way out. Talk about your adrenaline rush! Who needs a roller coaster? I'm sure there are all sorts of metaphors hidden in that little incident but right now the laundry is calling....
Thursday, September 11, 2008
One Month to Live
My wonderful church (LifeSong - you should check it out) has started a challenge called One Month to Live and although I'm only on Day 4, it's been a real eye-opener. The premise is that you examine your life as though you had only a month to live and determine what you would and would not do with those last few weeks. Furthermore, since Christ knew when he would die we should model our reactions after His. Although I can't do some of the things I think I'd do (like give up exercising and eat whatever I wanted), it does make me think about every time-wasting activity I engage in. Surfing around on Facebook - would I do that if I had a limited amount of time to live? No, I think not. In 1st Corinthians 10:23-24 Paul writes "You say, "I am allowed to do anything" - but not everything is good for you. You say, "I am allowed to do anything" - but not everything is beneficial. Don't be concerned for your own good but for the good of others." I'm busy with a lot of things and I generally like it that way. Every once in a while I get overwhelmed by the demands on my time and I start cutting things out. If I had only a month left, I would surely not care about being the PTO Co-President. In fact, the very title of Co-President means that there's another one of them that can take over. Is there anything inherently wrong with being involved in the PTO? No, of course not. I'm serving the school and doing my part to make it the best it can be, for my children and all the others who learn and work there. But is it beneficial? Is it the best use of my time? Well, that's a question I have yet to answer. I can tell you that if an activity needs to be dropped that would probably be the first to go. I had all these big plans (yes, I know - God has a sense of humor) about how it was going to be the most laid-back PTO in history but so far we're still in high gear due to the beginning of the school year and haven't slowed down yet.
One of our first assignments in the One Month book was to write down 5 things that we would change if we knew we only had a month left. One of mine had to do with writing down all the things I would want my children to know. I guess blogging counts for some of that. :-) A second one was to be more free in my worship. That's a biggie. My next chapter in the HOTA book is on Jealousy and Envy. I am so NOT looking forward to reading that one.
And today I got a nice letter in the mail from Larry to say "Welcome to the Worship Team." At least I can stop sweating over that one. No wonder Amanda thought I was so funny when I was at the church yesterday joking about getting it in writing. Here's the interesting part: no sooner had I opened the letter, read it and breathed a sigh of relief than the enemy started in on me with all the lies he uses to make me doubt myself. "He must have felt sorry for you; he didn't have any other choices; your voice isn't anything special" and on and on. Thankfully God has opened my eyes lately to be able to see those lies for what they are. Between Sunday afternoon and today, nearly every possible outcome had played like a movie trailer in my mind and none of the bad ones were God's work either. By the way, I had a dream on Tuesday morning that almost everyone who auditioned made the Worship Team. And of course once I got home on Sunday I thought of at least ten other things I should have said. Worship is ALWAYS meant to point people to God, and when I stand up there on Sunday mornings I want to be a neon arrow pointing straight to heaven. I hope that when people look at me they can see that God is real and He lives, and better yet, that He lives in me. I want to be the usher bringing people into the presence of God, saying, "Come and see!"
One of our first assignments in the One Month book was to write down 5 things that we would change if we knew we only had a month left. One of mine had to do with writing down all the things I would want my children to know. I guess blogging counts for some of that. :-) A second one was to be more free in my worship. That's a biggie. My next chapter in the HOTA book is on Jealousy and Envy. I am so NOT looking forward to reading that one.
And today I got a nice letter in the mail from Larry to say "Welcome to the Worship Team." At least I can stop sweating over that one. No wonder Amanda thought I was so funny when I was at the church yesterday joking about getting it in writing. Here's the interesting part: no sooner had I opened the letter, read it and breathed a sigh of relief than the enemy started in on me with all the lies he uses to make me doubt myself. "He must have felt sorry for you; he didn't have any other choices; your voice isn't anything special" and on and on. Thankfully God has opened my eyes lately to be able to see those lies for what they are. Between Sunday afternoon and today, nearly every possible outcome had played like a movie trailer in my mind and none of the bad ones were God's work either. By the way, I had a dream on Tuesday morning that almost everyone who auditioned made the Worship Team. And of course once I got home on Sunday I thought of at least ten other things I should have said. Worship is ALWAYS meant to point people to God, and when I stand up there on Sunday mornings I want to be a neon arrow pointing straight to heaven. I hope that when people look at me they can see that God is real and He lives, and better yet, that He lives in me. I want to be the usher bringing people into the presence of God, saying, "Come and see!"
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