Saturday, November 19, 2011

Need vs. Greed

It's that time of year again, or it soon will be, and already there are hundreds if not thousands of charities asking for your help this holiday season. The spirit of giving is especially intense around Christmas, and it seems like people are more willing to part with their cash this time of year for a good cause or even a marginal one. This may make me sound selfish, but I have a problem with some of the requests for donations that I encounter. I'd like to think it's due to discernment, but maybe it's just me being overly critical. Hear me out and let me know what you think.

When we lived in Tennessee, one of my favorite holiday activities was going to the Angel Tree in the mall (or WalMart, or wherever) and choosing a wish or several from the tree. The Angel Tree was a collaboration by several agencies whereby they collected Christmas gift requests from underprivileged children, and people from the community would buy gifts to fulfill the requests. I'm sure there are similar programs all over the country. I liked taking my girls with me and letting each one choose an angel to shop for. My hope was that the kids would get a taste of the joy of giving and possibly even gain a little appreciation for all their own blessings. When I first started doing this, the wishes I found were things like Barbie dolls, new pajamas, warm socks, Matchbox cars, Legos - simple things, and easy ones to add to my usual Christmas shopping.

But in the last few years I've noticed a disturbing trend, and here's where I'm confused/frustrated/insert appropriate word here. And one more disclaimer: maybe I'm just not looking in the right place for wish lists. More and more of these gift requests include really expensive toys and gadgets that I don't even buy for my own kids. Case in point: a friend's department at work decided to adopt a family for Christmas and one of the children requested an mp3 player AND a CD player. Either one is not enough by itself? Am I the only one turned off by a wish from an underprivileged child that lists "extra controllers and games for my PlayStation 3" or "4th generation iPod Touch 16 GB" or "PowerWheels Jeep" among the things they want for Christmas? What happened to baby dolls and Monopoly games? Am I so old now that I'm out of touch? Do these kids have so many other things to play with that the only things they really lack are expensive toys and gadgets? And if that last one is true, do they really qualify as needy? Are there people who submit their children's names for programs like the Angel Tree out of greed? (Boy, do I sound like a Grinch! I prefer "skeptic", thank you very much. :-) Better yet, "discerning".)

One year I actually volunteered with the group who ran the Angel Tree system and I was bowled over by the number of cards we sorted for the trees. Each card represented one child and his or her wishes for Christmas. I remember thinking that surely there couldn't be that many children in our area who were destined to get no gifts for Christmas unless someone chose their name off the Angel Tree. I'm sure that many of the children represented fell into that category, but surely there were many others who did not. And maybe I'm just out of touch with reality, safely ensconced here in my middle class suburban home.

And who decides which kids are "needy" enough to earn space on the Angel Tree anyway? Does anyone verify the information? One year my family was painfully embarrassed to find out that my little brother had received gifts through the Angel Tree. We never did find out who submitted his name and a wish list (that he didn't write, by the way), but our family was doing just fine financially and my brother definitely didn't need any extra gifts for Christmas that year. We couldn't help thinking that someone else could have taken more joy in those presents, and maybe there was someone who didn't get anything at all who would have be thrilled to get them.

So I'm ready to give this year, but is it wrong of me to be cautious about where, how and to whom? I think it's part of being a good steward to give where it can do the most good, so how am I supposed to determine that? How do I separate real need from grasping greed? I know I'm not supposed to give because I expect something (for instance, gratitude) in return and I don't think I do expect anything back. I would just like the satisfaction of knowing that I provided something that was needed and necessary and not just extra fluff. Something useful. To paraphrase Jerry Maguire, "Show me the need!" But here's another situation to muddy the waters even more:

Our church is giving turkeys and accompaniments for Thanksgiving dinner to needy families in the community, something we've done for the past few years. Do we ask for an income statement? No. Is it possible that some people may come and get free food even though they don't really need it in the way I might define "need" (as in, there would be no Thanksgiving dinner otherwise, only PB&J, not "I'll just take the money I would have spent on Thanksgiving dinner and spend it on something else instead")? It's possible. Does that keep me from donating to this event? Not a bit. I figure if someone shows up to collect a free meal, the very fact that they used their time and effort to come means they need something, even if it's not only the free food. Maybe they just need to know that someone cares enough to give them something, no strings attached.

Some situations are clearer than others. Kids in Haiti living in tent cities? Needy. Kids in the US wearing designer jeans and carrying iPhones? You'd think Not Needy, but how do you know for sure? Let's just say Probably Not Needy. Kids living in homeless shelters? Probably Needy. Kids living in my neighborhood? Probably Not Needy, but again, how do you know for sure? They may have parents out of a job and a home on the verge of foreclosure. I guess "probably" will have to do. Ultimately I know I need to share what God's given to me and let Him worry about whether or not a child is truly in need of what I'm giving. But I don't think that excuses me from examining a situation and praying about it instead of jumping in blindly.

One final thought - if I go to the Angel Tree and I see a child's wish for an iPad 2, I'll be leaving that one on the tree and taking the one for pajamas instead. :-)

2 comments:

Dawn said...

I hear ya! We have a food pantry at our church and sometimes it just leaves me shaking my head at the people who come in. I know it's not always a matter of starvation to need a food pantry (I've used it myself when times were hard) but if you are going to be in line waiting for free food leave your Iphone in your pocket. :( It also amazes me the people who complain about the items the food pantry has to offer....I'm sorry if tuna and hamburger helper (including a lb of frozen hamburger) aren't your idea of a meal but if you don't want it leave it for someone who does. We've had people say, I don't like that but I'll take it, maybe my (mother, brother, uncle, whoever) will eat it. :(

I think there is too much of a sense of entitlement now a days. :(

Jan said...

I would not buy MP3 players or Ipods for Angel Tree either, because I don't even have those things myself!