Need vs. Greed

It's that time of year again, or it soon will be, and already there are hundreds if not thousands of charities asking for your help this holiday season. The spirit of giving is especially intense around Christmas, and it seems like people are more willing to part with their cash this time of year for a good cause or even a marginal one. This may make me sound selfish, but I have a problem with some of the requests for donations that I encounter. I'd like to think it's due to discernment, but maybe it's just me being overly critical. Hear me out and let me know what you think.

When we lived in Tennessee, one of my favorite holiday activities was going to the Angel Tree in the mall (or WalMart, or wherever) and choosing a wish or several from the tree. The Angel Tree was a collaboration by several agencies whereby they collected Christmas gift requests from underprivileged children, and people from the community would buy gifts to fulfill the requests. I'm sure there are similar programs all over the country. I liked taking my girls with me and letting each one choose an angel to shop for. My hope was that the kids would get a taste of the joy of giving and possibly even gain a little appreciation for all their own blessings. When I first started doing this, the wishes I found were things like Barbie dolls, new pajamas, warm socks, Matchbox cars, Legos - simple things, and easy ones to add to my usual Christmas shopping.

But in the last few years I've noticed a disturbing trend, and here's where I'm confused/frustrated/insert appropriate word here. And one more disclaimer: maybe I'm just not looking in the right place for wish lists. More and more of these gift requests include really expensive toys and gadgets that I don't even buy for my own kids. Case in point: a friend's department at work decided to adopt a family for Christmas and one of the children requested an mp3 player AND a CD player. Either one is not enough by itself? Am I the only one turned off by a wish from an underprivileged child that lists "extra controllers and games for my PlayStation 3" or "4th generation iPod Touch 16 GB" or "PowerWheels Jeep" among the things they want for Christmas? What happened to baby dolls and Monopoly games? Am I so old now that I'm out of touch? Do these kids have so many other things to play with that the only things they really lack are expensive toys and gadgets? And if that last one is true, do they really qualify as needy? Are there people who submit their children's names for programs like the Angel Tree out of greed? (Boy, do I sound like a Grinch! I prefer "skeptic", thank you very much. :-) Better yet, "discerning".)

One year I actually volunteered with the group who ran the Angel Tree system and I was bowled over by the number of cards we sorted for the trees. Each card represented one child and his or her wishes for Christmas. I remember thinking that surely there couldn't be that many children in our area who were destined to get no gifts for Christmas unless someone chose their name off the Angel Tree. I'm sure that many of the children represented fell into that category, but surely there were many others who did not. And maybe I'm just out of touch with reality, safely ensconced here in my middle class suburban home.

And who decides which kids are "needy" enough to earn space on the Angel Tree anyway? Does anyone verify the information? One year my family was painfully embarrassed to find out that my little brother had received gifts through the Angel Tree. We never did find out who submitted his name and a wish list (that he didn't write, by the way), but our family was doing just fine financially and my brother definitely didn't need any extra gifts for Christmas that year. We couldn't help thinking that someone else could have taken more joy in those presents, and maybe there was someone who didn't get anything at all who would have be thrilled to get them.

So I'm ready to give this year, but is it wrong of me to be cautious about where, how and to whom? I think it's part of being a good steward to give where it can do the most good, so how am I supposed to determine that? How do I separate real need from grasping greed? I know I'm not supposed to give because I expect something (for instance, gratitude) in return and I don't think I do expect anything back. I would just like the satisfaction of knowing that I provided something that was needed and necessary and not just extra fluff. Something useful. To paraphrase Jerry Maguire, "Show me the need!" But here's another situation to muddy the waters even more:

Our church is giving turkeys and accompaniments for Thanksgiving dinner to needy families in the community, something we've done for the past few years. Do we ask for an income statement? No. Is it possible that some people may come and get free food even though they don't really need it in the way I might define "need" (as in, there would be no Thanksgiving dinner otherwise, only PB&J, not "I'll just take the money I would have spent on Thanksgiving dinner and spend it on something else instead")? It's possible. Does that keep me from donating to this event? Not a bit. I figure if someone shows up to collect a free meal, the very fact that they used their time and effort to come means they need something, even if it's not only the free food. Maybe they just need to know that someone cares enough to give them something, no strings attached.

Some situations are clearer than others. Kids in Haiti living in tent cities? Needy. Kids in the US wearing designer jeans and carrying iPhones? You'd think Not Needy, but how do you know for sure? Let's just say Probably Not Needy. Kids living in homeless shelters? Probably Needy. Kids living in my neighborhood? Probably Not Needy, but again, how do you know for sure? They may have parents out of a job and a home on the verge of foreclosure. I guess "probably" will have to do. Ultimately I know I need to share what God's given to me and let Him worry about whether or not a child is truly in need of what I'm giving. But I don't think that excuses me from examining a situation and praying about it instead of jumping in blindly.

One final thought - if I go to the Angel Tree and I see a child's wish for an iPad 2, I'll be leaving that one on the tree and taking the one for pajamas instead. :-)

Speeding Along

I got caught. There are no two ways about it: I got caught red-handed. Or red-footed. Or lead-footed, more like. And it's my own fault.

I was on the way to the grocery store on Sunday afternoon, traveling down a road I use constantly, and I noticed a police officer monitoring the speed of passing cars. I slowed down when I saw him and told myself that I'd better remember that on my way home or I might be in trouble. Sure enough, on my way home I had forgotten all about the officer lying in wait and I was motoring along and singing with the radio when I noticed the flashing blue lights in my rear view mirror. All of a sudden I remembered what I'd seen on my way to the store.

The officer was nice enough, I was duly chastened, and as if it wasn't bad enough to get a speeding ticket (51 in a 35 zone, in case you're wondering), I also got a citation for not having current proof of insurance in my car!

I take full responsibility for my ticket - I own it and I earned it. My sweet husband could have had any number of snarky responses but he chose to give grace (though I'm sure I'll be teased about it many times in the future). The simple fact is there's a law and whether I meant to or not, I broke it. The police officer was just doing his job to enforce the law.

The road I was on is a shortcut from my neighborhood to a shopping area. I travel it almost daily, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, and I've never paid attention to the speed limit signs. If pressed I would have guessed a 40 mph limit maybe. And if I'd paid attention to what I was doing I might have noticed that I was going pretty fast, even if I was right about it being a 40 mph zone. Now, speeding has become one of those little things that people, some Christians included, tend to brush off as no big deal. But the very fact that I slowed down when I saw that police officer tells me that I knew I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing. And here's the thing: I didn't even pay any attention to my speed on that road. I wasn't worried at all about whether or not I was breaking the law by speeding. I was just driving at what felt like a comfortable speed for me. Was I hurting anyone by speeding? Well, maybe not at that particular moment, but if I'd had to stop suddenly my added speed could have made a dramatic difference.

It's so easy to get into the habit of doing what feels comfortable, even if it's not always the right thing. It's like some part of me is tapping on my shoulder and whispering in my ear, "Psst! Are you sure you should be doing that?" and I've gotten so used to tuning it out that I don't even hear it anymore. And then I got caught. And if it hadn't been for that nice officer so pleasantly (and expensively) pointing it out to me, I probably would have kept right on speeding down that road (and many, many others). I was always taught that Christians are to obey the law of the land unless it contradicts or conflicts with God's word or law, which I suppose makes my speeding a sin. Ouch!

So it got me to thinking: how many other "roads" am I continuing to speed down, just because I haven't been caught yet? You know, other sins work that way too. Little sins don't seem like a big deal because no one seems to be getting hurt, but they'll eventually catch up with us in the end. Or we sin by "accident" because we're just not paying attention to the signs around us or what we're doing. It gets to be a habit, just going along doing what we want because we're either unaware, don't think it really matters, or just don't care about doing what's right. But it does matter, because our hearts can get hardened by continually slapping duct tape across that still small voice that tries to steer us in the right direction. And while breaking the law by speeding seems like a small sin, as Christians we know there is no hierarchy of sin - they're all equal in God's eyes. Harsh? Maybe. True? Definitely.

This has been a humbling experience for me, partly because I've been one of those who thought speeding was no big deal and I've had to ask forgiveness for that. I've had to explain myself to my children and let them see that Mommy messed up and now will have to pay (literally!) the consequences for it. I've explained to them that it's important to do the right thing even if no one is watching and there's no fear of getting caught.

Here's hoping this is my final speeding ticket.