Alive Again in Heaven

Two thirds of my family is off in Knoxville this weekend visiting with Harper one last time before she flies back to Las Vegas. The rest of us are hanging around home and enjoying some togetherness. Last night after Quinn went to bed, Dana and I watched a movie ("Dan in Real Life" - I give it a 6 out of 10, and that's only because I like Steve Carell) and this afternoon she and I went to see "Mamma Mia!" with Misty. What a hoot! I LOVED that movie and although I like musicals as a rule, I'm not *that* easy to please. Now I want to be IN it myself, but I can't decide which part I like best. Meryl Streep's part? Nah, she's the lead and while I like to be noticed I don't want to be that responsible. Maybe her friend Rosie is more my style, since I'm too old now to be the daughter.

As the youngest child, Quinn is often competing for my attention with her sisters and it's been interesting to watch her this weekend dealing with Karis being gone. I think Quinn misses her sister but at the same time, Mommy doesn't have to take care of anybody but her. Hey, she thinks, this may not be so bad! This evening we rode scooters around the block (yes, you read that right: I rode a scooter) and Quinn talked nonstop the whole way. She is quite a funny girl! She had the whole floor to herself and was making good use of it. She seems to have matured so much in the past 3 months, it's amazing. I didn't have to say much myself because she apparently had a lot of things she wanted to say. One particularly sweet conversation (or more accurately, monologue) had to do with my telling her to be careful and not go too fast down the hill. I'm going to try to quote this pretty much verbatim and with very little punctuation because that's the way the child talks. Alan Smith and Marsha Howell, this is for you:

Quinn: Yeah I don't want to go too fast on my scooter cause then I might fall and crack my head open and that would hurt and then I'd die unless the doctor sewed me back up but you don't have to be sad if I die because I'll come alive again in heaven and then you'll see me there and we'll be happy. So don't be sad if I die.

Me: Oh, if you die you'll come alive again in heaven?

Quinn: Yeah, and if you die I won't be sad because I know you'll be alive in heaven and when I die and go to heaven too I'll come back alive again in heaven and we'll all be happy. So you don't have to cry or anything.

Me: If you died I would be very sad because I would miss you but it would make me feel better to know that you're alive again in heaven with Jesus. And then I'd know that when I die and go to heaven I'll see you again.

Quinn: Yeah, and we'll play games and ride scooters and stuff ....

I thank God for all the wonderful teachers He has placed in my children's lives over the years. Jon and I teach them at home as well but you know how well kids listen to their parents sometimes. Alan and Marsha (and others): Quinn is listening and absorbing your message. It's getting through. So if you ever get discouraged and think your ministry isn't effective, don't be fooled. The kids are listening.

On a whole other subject, lately I've been feeling drawn to study worship. Singing on the Praise Team has made me think about what worship is and what it looks like. Karis and Quinn took classes in worship dance this summer from a neighbor of mine and she said some things that really pushed me along in that direction. The flag routine that Susan did at our This Night celebration moved me and stirred something in me as well. So I did what I usually do: I got on Amazon.com and started browsing through books on worship, and I ran some Google searches. I came up with some interesting articles and I ordered a couple of books. Right now I'm reading one by David Jeremiah and not that he needs my endorsement, but he's really onto something.

It will come as no surprise to most people that "worship" does not necessarily mean the songs that we sing on Sunday morning. At least it didn't to me. I had heard whisperings and hints that there was more, much more, to worship. Worship is our response to who God is and what He's done. That kind of throws it wide open, doesn't it? So many things can be considered worship, if they're done with the right heart attitude. David Jeremiah's book is about living life in an attitude of childlike wonder and awe. Sure, we've all had our breath taken away by some beautiful sights in nature or the birth of a child. But how many of us see the wonders around us every day, or take the time to reflect on the things God has done for us? Usually we (meaning me) are too busy with our daily details to look around us and see. More to come on this later.

Praise Team auditions for the next year are on August 17. The word "audition" makes me nauseous, and I'm trying to decide on a song to use. I also need to write out my personal salvation story (not a problem) and (here's the biggie) why I feel God is calling me to serve on the Praise Team. Yikes! I've been praying about that one and will continue praying about it, for sure. There is just no easy answer to that question, no simple "yes" or "no". How do I put into words what I feel? I just know when I'm sitting in front of Larry my mind will go blank. But that is fear, and I cannot let fear rule my life, right? Oh boy.