Double Digits!

Today is my birthday. I'm now 44 years old and I can't believe it! How did I get to be this age? Where did the time go? Just yesterday I was in elementary school. When I was little, 44 was ancient to me. By the time my grandmother was this age I was already two years old. By the time my mother was this age I had been married for two years. When my oldest child is 44 I'll be 67 or 68 and when my youngest turns 44 I'll be.... probably gone on to heaven. Then again, based on the longevity of the women on my mother's side of the family, maybe not. My great-great-grandmother died the day after she turned 100 years old (I was grown up and married already by then). My great-grandmother died at the age of 95 and my grandmother is still going strong at 84.

I just recently got the David Crowder Band's newest CD called "Remedy" and haven't even listened to it all the way through, so I wasn't familiar with the song used in the service on Sunday morning even though I recognized my friend Crowder. :-) It's not unusual for me to be touched by music and feel that the writer must have been reading my mind when he/she wrote the song, but "Never Let Go" really hit me hard. I don't normally sit around and meditate on all the hard stuff I've been through in life but the words brought the memories back in a flood and I could see it all play out like a slideshow in my mind. At the time I was going through each experience I knew God was with me, even if sometimes it was head knowledge and not heart knowledge. If I hadn't felt that way I don't know how I would have made it through! How do people get through tough times without God to hold onto? Anyway, the truth of the song just hit me like a hammer - He NEVER lets go, even when we do. In the good times when we forget just Who is blessing us and WE let go of Him, He still never lets go. When we get distracted by life and forget to hold onto God, He is holding onto us.

So I'm still hip-deep in my personal worship exploration. Let's call it WorshipQuest, just because I've always wanted to give an endeavor a cutesy name. I'm reading "My Heart's Desire" by David Jeremiah and it reminds me of "Velvet Elvis" the way I can only read a couple of pages at a time before I have to put it down and digest what I just read. In addition to that, I have a devotional written for worship teams that has been very helpful. One thing David Jeremiah said that I'm still turning over in my mind is this: We worship whom we trust, and we trust whom we know. Hmmm.... So we can't truly worship God unless we trust Him and we won't trust Him unless we know Him, which in my mind means taking time to read His word and talk with Him through prayer, including sitting quietly to listen. That makes sense. In fact, it might explain the epidemic of self-worship going on in the world today, because who do you know best but yourself? And how many people don't trust anyone BUT themselves? You know, the people who think if you want it done right you have to do it yourself (and I'm one of them sometimes). Or people so closed off they are terrified of sharing anything personal and don't even admit to their real feelings. We tend to think of them as shallow. Maybe they've been hurt and believe they are right not to trust others but I don't think God meant us to live that way. The women's Bible study on idols really pointed out to me how often we "serve" things or people other than God. It made me think about my motivation for every little thing I do and try to keep things/people in their proper place.

I read a comment in yesterday's newspaper from a lady who got offended by someone's response when they asked her if she attended church. When she said "No," the person who asked the question said "Shame on you!" The lady went on to write that she believes in God and she's a good, moral person who worships in her own way and basically doesn't need to go to church. She said she has a "better than average" knowledge of the Bible and that the Bible doesn't require believers to go to church. I beg to differ. What about the verse that says we should not forsake the gathering together of believers? How many people are there RIGHT NOW in the world walking around thinking the same thing? Why do people want to avoid church? Is it the fear of condemnation or judgment? Is it shame? Is it the fear that they might just have to confront some sin in their life and change? Is it simple rebellion? What a lie it is to think that just because you are "good enough" you'll go right on to heaven! A few years ago Mariah Carey had a hit song called "One Sweet Day" about someone who had died and she was just sure that they were "shining down on me from heaven" and they would be together again "one sweet day". Um, not necessarily. I changed the station every time that song came on because I was so frustrated by the message it was sending. Argh! How can we fight back against those messages?

OK, on to something sweeter. I get to share my big day with Alfred Hitchcock, Fidel Castro and Danny Bonaduce, along with Andy Griggs (country singer), Quinn Cummings (child actress) and Pat Harrington (the "super" from One Day at a Time), PLUS Amy D.'s father. On a radio show a few years ago I heard about the theory that your life will follow the theme of the song that was #1 on the exact day you were born, so I went to check it out. My song, which was #1 on August 13, 1964: "A Hard Day's Night" by the Beatles. Yeah. Nuff said.